Episode 506 - What If I Told You...

Plot:

Sonic and Knuckles walk in front of the same TV they used to introduce the prior week's episode, saying it's a "What if?" special. Sonic jokes about a scenario about Locke not having dropped Knuckles on his head as a baby and another about Knuckles putting Locke in a home.

For the first "What if?", Sonic and Knuckles explore what would have happened if Locke was nicer to Lara-Le and Knuckles. Locke wonders how many co-hosts Kelly Ripa can scare off her show as he watched TV with Lara-Le. Knuckles enters the den as he stresses over not being able to produce another guardian due to his 49th girlfriend dumping him. Knuckles then says that one of his exes, Rouge, is dating an older guy named Wyn. Locke and Knuckles spy on the couple talking about Knuckles behind his back. Knuckles confronts Rouge, prompting Wyn to make fun of him for being turned down. He then punches Wyn so hard that he flies into a tree before making another move on Rouge. A year later, it's revealed that Rouge stayed with Wyn and that they had twins. Locke convinces Knuckles not to give up... but 25 years later he has failed to find a mate who will produce him a guardian for the Master Emerald. As a result, the entirety of Mobius is under Eggman's control and Knuckles wishes his father wasn't such a pushover.

The second "What if" has Sonic pondering Lightning being born a daughter instead of a son. Sonic is shocked that Amy gave birth to a daughter but he accepts her once he realizes that Amy loves her just the same. At 12 years old, Lightning has already maxed out Sonic's credit card and employee bonuses with her fashion sense. Sonic has also gotten a vasectomy since Lightning has scared him and Amy away from having a second child. Lightning also wishes for a pony despite the impracticality of raising one in the suburbs. A few years later, Lightning has reached the angst stage thanks to Sonic forcing her to break up with her boyfriend. He then leads her outside where he shows her an early Christmas present: a Lamborghini. Sonic then double-takes when Lightning wants him to teach her to drive. A few years later, Lightning graduates from college despite having a child along the way. Later on, Lightning has five more children, and a seventh on the way which makes shopping difficult for Sonic and Amy. When Lightning finally reveals that she's having a daughter, this makes Amy wish that she had been born a boy.

The last "What if" explores Sonic the Hedgehog on TLC's My 600-lb Life. Amy describes what Sonic was like before his massive weight gain, attributing nearly all of it to his chili dog diet. She was attracted to him because she was into fat sex, even as he ballooned to 900 pounds. Unable to eat on his own, Sonic requests that Amy bring over his chili dogs and buckets of KFC to his face. Eggman confesses that he stopped fighting Sonic when he surpassed him in obesity. He then recommends that Sonic get a consultation for bariatric surgery to which he reluctantly agrees. The doctor puts Sonic on a 1,200 calorie a day diet, saying he needs to lose 245 pounds before surgery or else he will die of an obesity-related illness. Sonic's children then take turns scrubbing Sonic after he goes to the bathroom. After a few months, Sonic has gotten his weight down to a level where he qualifies for surgery. For the procedure, all the doctor has to do is remove 98% of his stomach before stitching him up. After a year, Sonic has gotten his weight down to a manageable level in spite of all the excess skin. Amy also reveals that they are finally able to have children again.

Knuckles and Sonic express how happy they are that things are just the way they should be. They also agree that they're thankful for their own friendship, otherwise there would be no show.


Fun Facts:

None of the What-If scenarios featured in this episode are canon. It's revealed that despite their hectic lives, Sonic and Knuckles wouldn't change a thing.

Cast:

Junky: Knuckles, Amy, Lightning, Locke, Eggman, Dr. Now
Koopa: Sonic, Flash, Wyn
Fieldsy: Rouge, Lara-Le, Amber